Jim Hopper (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
something_incredible) wrote2020-11-15 04:22 pm
something_incredible) wrote2020-11-15 04:22 pm
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It's been seventy-three days since the last time he had a drink and Hopper still isn't sure if these AA meetings are quite for him.
He wants them to be. He wants to be able to go to the meetings and share without feeling like a complete piece of shit and somehow just get over all the bad stuff that's happened, even though he knows that isn't how it all works. Nothing it that goddamn simple.
So he tries to ignore the uneasiness he feels and keeps going to the meetings without ever really saying anything. Just telling them his name, admitting he's an alcohol, that was enough. It had made him feel too goddamn vulnerable, like his skin was transparent and everyone could see all the messed up memories and thoughts going through his head.
That was two weeks ago and he hasn't said anything since, but he's started to recognize some of the faces. He nods at a familiar guy -- Dan, he thinks -- as he joins him at the coffee, pouring himself a steaming cup of something that will never rival Ahab's, but isn't half bad either. Especially at a time like this.
He wants them to be. He wants to be able to go to the meetings and share without feeling like a complete piece of shit and somehow just get over all the bad stuff that's happened, even though he knows that isn't how it all works. Nothing it that goddamn simple.
So he tries to ignore the uneasiness he feels and keeps going to the meetings without ever really saying anything. Just telling them his name, admitting he's an alcohol, that was enough. It had made him feel too goddamn vulnerable, like his skin was transparent and everyone could see all the messed up memories and thoughts going through his head.
That was two weeks ago and he hasn't said anything since, but he's started to recognize some of the faces. He nods at a familiar guy -- Dan, he thinks -- as he joins him at the coffee, pouring himself a steaming cup of something that will never rival Ahab's, but isn't half bad either. Especially at a time like this.