something_incredible | (no subject)

Entry tags:

bev,
lucy

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Jim Hopper is not an easy man to rattle.

He's seen shit. He was in Vietnam, he'd been a cop in New York, he lost his daughter, his family, he'd fought a damn monster and an evil lab while trying to save a bunch of kids, and that's all before being flung into this weird city he can't leave and where technology and time have both jumped forward thirty years. All of that, he thinks, is the sort of stuff that prepares a person to deal well with more weird stuff when it's flung their way.

But somehow he wasn't prepared for this.

He's sitting on the front stoop of the Bramford Building and he thinks he has plans to meet someone, but he feels like he's a million miles away. When getting his mail out of the box not ten minutes earlier, he'd shuffled through it all, most of it fliers for useless nonsense he's never going to buy and one envelope addressed to Former Resident. He was puzzling over that when he'd realized the next envelope was addressed directly to him.

It's official looking. Like it's come from the government. Or maybe some kind of lab.

He tears into it hurriedly and when the doctored birth certificate slips out, Hopper stares at the names for a long moment before he finds himself sinking down to the stairs. This was the plan all along. This was what he was going to ask Owens to provide him if he and Eleven made it out of that pit alive. A birth certificate that made him Eleven's father, something that couldn't be challenged, something no one would ever question. A way to give her a real life. A real family.

There's her name. Jane Hopper. His last name, his full name listed as her father. Theresa Ives listed as her mother.

He doesn't know what to think. His hand is shaking a little and Hopper pulls the birth certificate close, holding it against his chest with his eyes closed.

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He doesn't have the haunted, desperate look she'd seen on him a few weeks aog but when Lucy comes upon him on the steps, she still worries. She walks over to him quicker, concern evident on her face.

"Jim?" she asks, stopping until she's just in front of him, a frown on her face. Her eyes flick down to the paper he's holding but she doesn't try to look. It might be something he doesn't want her to see and though she's curious, she's not pushy.

"Are you all right?" she asks, moving to sit down beside him.

Lucy's voice comes to him as if from some distance and although Hopper opens his eyes when she sits down beside him, for just a second he feels like he's seeing through her. Looking forward -- and backward somehow -- to a place he'd come from and still has never been to.

It's going to be a tough thing to explain and he thinks he could get away with not doing so, but maybe he should. He's trusted Lucy with some stuff and she's trusted him, too, and maybe this is the kind of thing he can let her help him carry. Maybe, if he ever sees Eleven again, it'll be a little easier for her, too. Having someone else she can at least try and trust right off, because Hopper trusts her already. Because she knows.

"I'm okay," he says, then pulls the birth certificate away from his chest. "Got this in the mail today."

Lucy takes the birth certificate from him and scans the document. It takes her a second to realize what she's reading and then she smiles just a touch. This seems like good news, like something he might have wanted considering how he's talked about children and how much he seems to love them.

"Wow," Lucy murmurs, handing him the paper back very carefully. "Is this -- is this a good thing?"

She tempers her smile just in case it's not, just in case it's something that dredges up feelings of sadness, homesickness and guilt. She doesn't want to send him back to his booze and pills right now.

"It's a good thing," he says. If nothing else, it means there's a world out there where Eleven is going to be able to have a proper life. A place where she'll be able to go to school, have her friends, live out in the open so long as she doesn't use her powers. It's a world where she's a little bit more safe than she was before.

"It's fake," he adds. "The birth certificate, it's a fake, someone made it for me. It lists me as her biological father and I'm not. Jane was... do you remember what I told you about the lab in Hawkins? The weird experiments they were doing?"

He's taking a leap of faith here, but it feels like the right decision.

"I remember," Lucy says, feeling a little tendril of worry take root in her stomach. She has a feeling she knows what he's going to tell her, where Jane came from but maybe she's wrong. Maybe the foreboding she's feeling is just her paranoid mind and, for once, she hopes that's the case.

"What about it?" Lucy asks, clasping her hands together and worrying her lower lip between her teeth. "Was she...somehow involved?"

"You ever heard of Project MKUltra?" he asks. "It was this rumour for a long time, these experiments being conducted by the CIA using LSD to try and achieve some form of mind control, only it turned out not to be a rumour."

He takes a deep breath and says, "Terry was pregnant at the time she volunteered for the study. The shit they had her on... it did things to the baby. When Jane was born they took her. Told Terry she died. They took away her name and gave her a number instead. They marked her, right here." He reaches out and touches Lucy's wrist where Eleven's tattoo is. "Number eleven."

Another deep breath and it's shaking a little when it comes out. "The lab caught Terry sneaking in to try and get her back. They did shit to her, electroshock therapy, it fucked her up. She's catatonic now and when Eleven escaped the lab and I found her, I just... I had to keep her safe from them. I had to. There wasn't anyone else left to do it."

"I've heard of it but I never actively pursued information on it," Lucy admits with a shake of her head. "It was one of those things that someone somewhere will lecture about sometimes and you go and it's interesting but you don't follow up."

It wasn't really in her wheelhouse, so to speak. The program was awful to think about and terrible to imagine really happening but it had been all rumor and conjecture and theory, nothing more.

Now, listening to what Jim says, a sick feeling twists her stomach and she clasps her hands together tightly.

"That's -- " She swallows and blows out a breath. "I don't even have the words for what that is. I don't even understand how a human, someone with a heart, could do that to another person. I'm sorry it happened to her."

"Jane's her real name, the name Terry gave her, so it's on the birth certificate and it's what I've been calling her to people who don't know about all this, but she didn't even know her name when she came out of the lab," he says. "We all just called her Eleven. Or El."

It feels good to have that out there. Maybe not her real name, but the one she'd given herself.

"I had to keep her hidden from the lab for a year," he says. "Taking care of a teenage girl is hard enough, but when she's isolated and can throw a book at your head with her mind it's something else."

"Well, now I have to ask why she might have a reason to throw a book at your head," Lucy says, snickering quietly. There are much more serious things to question, to ask but she doesn't want to immediately delve into that, not so soon after learning about her. It's hard to relive terrible things like that so might as well try and be light and airy for a second.

"What sort of behavior were you showing her that she had to do that?" Lucy asks because it was obviously something he'd done. Of course it was.

Hopper laughs, even though it's not really a funny situation. Eleven would appreciate Lucy based on that comment alone, because of course it had all been his fault.

"I wouldn't let her go visit the friends she'd made," he says. "You remember the boy I told you about who went missing? When Joyce and I went into that other world to find him, Eleven was there, too, fighting the monster with Will's friends. They all thought she died doing it. Her friends, but more importantly, the lab thought it, too. I had to keep it that way and I know it sucked, I know she was pissed at me, but it was keeping her safe."

He shrugs and he's still smiling, but it's strained. "It was hard. This birth certificate means I could have done stuff like enroll her in school. Give her a real life."

"You still can," Lucy tells him, reaching over to take his hand and give it a squeeze. "Your life with her isn't over. It's just...temporarily delayed but it's not over. I have all the hope in the world that you'll get back to her at some point."

It had to he hard right now though. To have this show up and remind him of what he'd been about to embark on with Jane. Or Eleven. She wasn't sure what to call her but she doesn't think it matters either.

"Don't be quite so fatalistic just yet," she chides. "You haven't been here long enough for that."

These days, Beverly spends about as much time at Hopper's as not, if not maybe a little more. School isn't quite over yet, but it's close to it, and it makes the walk over, a change of clothes shoved into her backpack along with her books, that much more pleasant. It's second-nature now, and she tries not to think too hard about that or what it means. Still in the back of her head is the idea that she shouldn't overstay her welcome, though she's been given no indication yet that she has or is close to doing so. She just doesn't want to let it go too far, in case that day does wind up coming.

Today, though, after she turns the corner of the block Hopper's building is on, she practically skids to a stop by the stairs, frowning instinctively at the sight of him. This is unusual, a break from what's become routine, and by the look on his face, it's hard not to worry about what he's looking at, what might have happened. "Hey," she says, rocking back on her heels, brow furrowing. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"Maybe," he agrees, looking at Lucy. Grateful for her. She tells him not to give up on going back, but there are moments like this one, looking at her, holding her gaze, and he doesn't necessarily want to go back.

Not without a chance with her.

"I'm okay," he says with a smile. "Because this shit isn't about me. If somewhere back there, that doctor came through and gave this to me, it means she's going to be okay. That's what I care about."

Maybe the birth certificate isn't a guarantee, but it something and he feels good about it.

He knows he must look a little thrown off, especially with the way Bev approaches, but he doesn't want her to think there's something wrong. It's weird, it's really damn weird, but it's not a bad thing and he looks up at her quickly and gives a nod right off. No point in worrying her more than he probably already has, especially not when she's been through plenty of shit already.

The less shit he causes, the better.

"Yeah," he says. "I'm okay. It's fine. Come sit for a second, I got something to show you."

He has fewer reservations about telling Beverly than nearly anyone else. She'll get it, he's just got a feeling she will. Nothing about Eleven will be all that surprising to her and he doesn't know why he thinks this, just that he does.

"That's a good way to see it," Lucy tells him, nodding. "This is a good thing. I know the memories associated with it might be a bit hard to deal with but this seems like a pretty good sign of normalcy. That you and she were going to be able to have a life together."

Maybe it wouldn't have been a conventional life but it would have been a life. He would have had a daughter and she would have had the father figure that it sounded like she desperately needed.

"She's going to be okay," Lucy agrees. "And so are you."

"At least she'll probably stop trying to throw books at my head. Or entire bookshelves." Until the next dramatic incident, anyway. She was approaching her teen years and Hopper knows raising her wouldn't have been easy on him, but he also knows there hadn't been any other choice. She might need him, but he knows he needs her even more.

Hopper had never realized how badly he needed a daughter until Sara, but since her, he's never been able to forget.

"She's such a shit," he says, then laughs. "I don't think I'm supposed to say that, but she is."

"But, you said it affectionately," Lucy notes, smiling herself. "I'm sure I've called my sister that a few times over the years. Because she is."

Not was. She was going to get Amy back if it meant she had to turn time upside down. Amy doesn't deserve what's happening to her now and Lucy wasn't going to let it stand.

"She sounds like a special person," Lucy tells him sincerely. "But then again, so are you."

Hopper is quiet for a moment, not knowing the last time he's heard something like that. No one in Hawkins has thought him special in a long time and he's old enough now to understand that being good at football and getting girls in high school isn't really worth a damn anyway.

He's told Lucy a lot. More than he'd even told Joyce in the past few years. He'd hidden Eleven from everyone in order to protect her, but now Lucy knows. If Eleven ever shows up here, he has her birth certificate, he can give her security.

Reaching over with his free hand, he cups the back of Lucy's neck and leans in to kiss her. Like he means it this time, appreciative and thorough, and he knows he hasn't done this nearly enough. He's not all that special, but she certainly is. That she's still sitting here with him is proof enough of that.

Lucy certainly hadn't been aiming for a kiss but she's not upset that it happens. She is definitely not upset. In fact, she thinks they haven't done this enough so she's truly and sincerely pleased to see him leaning closer and she hums quietly when his lips touch hers.

She reaches up and curls one hand around his neck, bringing herself closer to him, returning his kiss with as much eagerness as she can muster.

They definitely haven't done this enough and making up for lost time sounds like a good idea.

She smells good and her mouth tastes good and Hopper's a grown man who should know better than to get carried away on the stoop of his apartment building, especially when Beverly has a habit of showing up when she needs to see him, but for a second he can't help himself. He's thrown off by the arrival of the birth certificate, but not necessarily in a bad way. This place doesn't make sense, finding this in the mail doesn't make sense, but damned if he shouldn't take a chance now and then.

"I should be doing that more often," he says a moment later. "We've been on enough dates for that, right?"

He's wearing a bit of a smile, kind of joking, but there's a part of him that's serious, too. It's better to ask, he figures, better to be sure. He's shit at this, but he doesn't want Lucy to be one of those women he just takes home for a single night.

"I'm certainly not complaining and I'm not going to stop you either." There is one thing she needs to tell him, before they go further than that, but the timing is always atrocious. She knows just coming out and saying it will be a huge burden off her shoulders but this isn't about her. He got something that's calmed him and given him hope and she doesn't want to dash that.

"We've been on enough dates," she confirms with a nod. "Feel free to do it when the mood strikes. Unless it's first thing in the morning. Let me brush my teeth first."

"I'm not seeing you first thing in the morning yet," he points out, but it's said with a smile. Rushing her into anything isn't on his list of things to do, but even so, he can't imagine not wanting to kiss her then as well, regardless of whether she's brushed her teeth or not.

That's not something he's felt in a long while. The torch he's carried for Joyce is something he can't explain, can't dwell on, chooses to ignore. Joyce is something separate.

And Lucy is something different. His thumb strokes her jaw and he says, "But when I do, I've got a feeling I won't be too worried about your toothbrush."

"Maybe soon," Lucy tells him with a little smile. She's not sure she's ready for that just yet but she thinks she can be ready for it in the future. There are still things she wants to tell him before that happens but she knows that one day, she's just going to say it and get it out of the way.

"We'll see what you think then when there's morning breath to be had," she jokes. "Ultimate test."

"I didn't know I was being tested," he answers with a low laugh. He's still close to her, he doesn't feel the need to move any time soon, but they can't very well sit here all day. The birth certificate is still in one hand and he pulls back a bit in order to tuck it back into its envelope. At the same time someone approaches the stairs, trying to get by, and Hopper has to stand to let them pass.

Once he's put the birth certificate away, tucked it into his jacket pocket, he holds his hand out toward Lucy.

"How about a coffee?" he asks. "I've got some pretty standard stuff upstairs."

"Oooh, the magic word," Lucy says with a grin, nodding. She pushes herself to her feet, tugging at his arm to get him to follow along. She's heartened (and a little relieved) to see that a potentially sad situation has been turned around and that he's okay, he's not going to spend his day beating himself up.

"I've only had one or two cups today so I deserve one more," she laughs, nodding. "Lead the way."

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